We were scheduled to have our next Australian Hearing check-up on about the 2nd of April, but about a week before that, J seemed to suddenly go very deaf. He had an infection at the time, and i didn't really realise what was going on for about 3 days...he was particularly tired one Monday morning at speech, and i just thought he was tired and being a bit hard to get on with (as u do), but over the course of that day and the next 2 days, i could see that not only was he unwell, but he just simply couldn't hear me...at least, not like he had been able to the week before. Because he had infections at the time he couldn't wear any hearing aids, so we had a trying couple of weeks there, trying to herd a deaf nearly-2-yr-old. We were back to having to make physical contact to get his attention, and lots of signing, whereas we had got to the point where we were able to at least get his attention with voice alone, and he was beginning to understand a few things by listening (audition) alone. This seemed like such a set-back, like yesterday he could hear and today he can't, and for no explicable reason.
I phoned Australian Hearing, to see if it was still worth attending the check-up - they would prefer to see him with no infections so they could get accurate levels from the VROA, so we re-scheduled for another 4 weeks time. This was good timing, as it gave us a window in which to do a bunch of things - visit our chiro again for a check-up, visit our ENT to sort the infections, both of which we did. The chiro seemed to think that a small adjustment was necessary, and the ENT prescribed yet more Ciproxin HC (surprise, surprise!) and we tried our hardest to be infection free as soon as possible. We did visit Australian Hearing at the end of April and they were able to perform the required tests, even though the right ear was still not quite right. The results showed the same levels as the January tests, and now the Australian Hearing people began to make faint cochlear implant noises.
We visited our ENT again fairly soon after seeing Aus Hearing (can't remember quite why, maybe for more Ciproxin!!), and he also began to make more serious implant noises, about which i was not pleased. It's always a slightly emotional day when we go to see one of these specialists...there's usually some news i don't want to hear, and i feel so helpless, watching my son's hearing deteriorate before my very eyes. It's like he's fading away, and there's nothing i can do about, let alone detect that it's happening. I wonder if he ever did have full hearing, even for the first few hours of life, and what he heard then, if he remembers any of it. I wonder how much he has really heard in these last months 22-ish months, and if he realises that he's slowly sinking into silence...
That's what breaks my heart...the knowledge that it's possible that Jarrah will eventually become totally & profoundly deaf, and perhaps sooner rather than later. And what will life be like for him along the way? Will he be able to enjoy music, as i do? Will i be able to teach him to play the piano, or the violin, as i so looked forward to doing? Will we ever be able to play music together, as i dreamed of doing as i carried him before he was born? So many dreams seem to now be out of reach, so many things that "normal" children take for granted. I will have to teach him to speak, one word at a time. He probably won't just abosorb language like other children, communication will be hard work for him. He loves music so much though, that i can almost imagine that he'll play music in spite of his lack of hearing...almost like he'll be the opposite to most children, he'll absorb the music through the pores of his skin, yet i'll have to teach him to speak English. These are the sorts of things one doesn't anticipate in becoming a parent for the first time.
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